Useful Tips

How smart people behave with people they don’t like


To work productively and efficiently, there is nothing better than collaborating with those you like and respect. You trust these people and can comfortably interact with them. However, you still need to work periodically with those you don’t really like. And it will not always be right for you to avoid such clients or colleagues.

The ability to work with people you dislike is a valuable skill. Here are 10 tips to help you deal with this:

9. Appreciate your time

Not all things and people are worth your time and attention. Sometimes communication with an unpleasant person can do so much harm that you should ask yourself: “Do they really deserve my time?” If the answer is no, then spend your resources on those who deserve it.

10. Seek support

Do you have to work alone? If possible, find people who can support you. Familiar people can help you feel more confident and calm.

Working with someone you don’t like is rarely fun, but you must be able to distinguish between interpersonal problems and professional areas.

1. They recognize that they cannot be liked by everyone

Sometimes we fall into the trap of thinking that we are good. We believe that if someone does not like us, then we are doing something wrong. But you will inevitably come across difficult people who oppose what you think. Smart people know this. They also recognize that conflicts or disagreements result from differences in the value system.

A person who you do not like, in principle, a good person. The reason for your rejection is that you have different values, and this difference creates tension. After you acknowledge that not everyone likes you and not everyone likes you, because of the difference in the value system, you can exclude emotions in assessing the situation. This will help you agree.

2. They tolerate (rather than ignore or fire) those whom they dislike

Of course, you can come to terms with someone’s constant criticism, bite the bullet in response to lousy jokes, or ignore someone’s obsessive society, but there’s no worse thing than constantly suppressing your annoyance. From the point of view of effectiveness, an excessive desire to win people's sympathy is a greater problem than their lack of sympathy.

You need people who have different points of view and are not afraid to argue. They are a kind of people who do not allow stupid things to be done. It is not easy, but they must be endured. Often these are those who challenge or provoke us, but they encourage us to a new understanding and help move the group to success. Remember that you, too, are not perfect, but, nevertheless, people put up with you.

3. They are polite to those whom they do not like.

Regardless of your feelings towards someone, a person will be guided by your behavior and attitude towards him, and most likely will treat you the same way. If you will be rude to him, most likely, he will drop all decorum and will be rude to you in return. Remember, if you are polite, people will be tolerant of you.

The ability to control your face is of great importance. You should be able to show that you think a person is a professional and treat him well. This will help you not get down to their level or get involved in what they are doing.

4. They keep their expectations

People often have unrealistic expectations of others. We can expect that in a certain situation, others will act just as we would, or say what we could say, that is, we want to hear now. However, this is not real. People have inherent personal traits of character that largely determine their reaction. To expect from others the same actions that you would take is to prepare yourself for disappointment and frustration.

If a person evokes the same feelings every time, adjust your expectations accordingly. Thus, you will be psychologically prepared, and his behavior will not take you by surprise. Smart people do this all the time. They are never surprised by the behavior of an unlikely person.

5. They do not analyze the opponent, but themselves

No matter what you experience, people cannot get into your skin. It is important that you know how to manage your feelings when dealing with someone who annoys you. Instead of thinking that this person annoys you, focus on why you react to this. Often we do not like in others that which we do not like in ourselves. In addition, they do not create a button, they just click on it.

Identify triggers that could affect your feelings. Then you may be able to anticipate your reaction, soften it, or even change it. Remember: it’s easier to change your perception, attitude and behavior, than to force someone to become another person.

6. They take a break and take a deep breath.

There are some things that annoy you all the time. Maybe this is a colleague who regularly breaks deadlines, or a guy who gives stupid jokes. Understand what annoys you and who presses on your buttons. Thus, you can prepare for this.

If you can take a break and take control of the raging adrenaline, and then turn to the intellectual part of your brain, you can better negotiate and substantiate your judgments. A deep breath and one big step back can help you calm down and protect you from excessive excitement, thereby allowing you to get down to business with a clearer mind and an open heart.

7. They voice their needs.

If some people constantly hurt you, calmly let them know that their behavior and communication style are a problem for you. Avoid accusatory phrases, try using the formula instead: “When you ... then I feel ...”. For example: "When you interrupt me during a meeting, I feel that you do not appreciate my work." Then take a break and wait for an answer.

You may find that the other person did not understand that your presentation was not yet complete or that your colleague was so excited by his idea that he threw it out in a fit of excitement.

8. They keep their distance.

If all other tricks do not help, smart people create a distance between themselves and what they do not like. Apologize for yourself and go your own way. If this happens at work, move to another room or sit on the other side of the conference table. Being distant and having a perspective, you may be able to return to the discussion and interact with people you like and not worry about those who you don't like.

Of course, everything would be simpler if we could say goodbye to people we don’t like. Unfortunately, we all know that this does not happen in life.